By: Swagata Padmapati
If cliff-hangers in the daily soaps are meant to keep the viewers on the edge of their seats, the patriarchal obstinacy in the traditional family pantheon can keep you in a Hitchcockian consciousness packed with mental hysteria that cough out lozenges of grenades sufficient to set ablaze a healthy family dynamic. Few of these earthlings, being referred to here, belong to an era where women’s equality was hardly any talking point of the town and the others are the educated zealots of current times who refuse to sign in for the evolutionary trail in the theory of evolution. These avarice human protagonists are none other than the feudal stooges manufactured under a flagship program of patriarchal anarchy with a constipated societal fixation and a very regressive mindset. They carry the baton of roasting concocted stories of people and places out of thin air that can go on to become a perfect doomsday cover story!
Being an avid reader, a passionate writer, a pedantic observer, and above all a willful person, I take my inspiration for my writing scoop from the quarks that constantly bomb my cranium under the umbrella of the big Indian patriarchal diaspora that I live in. And as my pen hops further to jest a few of these antiquated ideas, a platoon of men and a bevy of beauties serving under the patriarchal bubble will fall out of line signalling the rampant blemishes of an agrarian hangover that has jolted the system of “Social Equality” to get into any better track in current times. So, hold your breath as I beat the trumpet ahead with some racy punches which leave some food for thought for the readers.
Wherever you go, the network follows
What travels at a lightning speed in the current times apart from the 5G network of the mobile companies? Of course, it’s a trail of gossip appetisers doing their rounds in the haloed circle of aunties and bimbos encircling you! These species are ritual-bound fairies who love to keep abreast of the latest canards going around them and if it happens to be of somebody within their social ambit then they are almost there to fry the gossip in their pan with secret sauces palatable to different audiences. These stewards of virtue know every move of yours – what you do, where you go, how you go, with whom you go. Their prying eyes are always looking out for you and they can even get you out from the darkest nook of the home.
Of genes and geniuses – The paternal high-performance molecule!
Blaming the mother or the maternal side of the family for the blemishes of the kids is as natural as the mother’s milk. The blame shifter is a character flaw that is celebrated mostly by the patriarchal monarchs of modern times. This is nothing but a blithe evader of the responsibility when the kids don’t perform as per the set standards of the family in both academic and social life. However, contrarily if these brats get a rip-roaring success in fields of their choice and hobbies then you see the paternal affiliations rushing in to take the credit. Of course, it’s the paternal high-performance molecules that speak!
Time-Out with her parents!
Whether it’s a rural backdrop or an urban setting most women who marry in India end up being married to regressive families, where staying with the bride’s parents after marriage invites a barrage of questions for both the groom and his family in the social circle surrounding them. This deep humiliation almost hit the Achilles heel and then heaps of loaded jargons are fired at the bride. These patriarchal aficionados then paint a diabolic picture of the women tantamount to stealing the guy from his parents. An abominable lull then looms over the groom’s family and a perfect “Storm in a teacup” moment is cooked in the gossip circles until the flames of hate and malice are doused in due course of time. However, the atmosphere in the family from there on stays belligerent, cold, and dry, and each petty feud is snowballed into fights of ballistic proportions.
The tug of war
You cannot conquer the world without war and you cannot win a power struggle if you don’t malign, maraud, incite, insinuate and instigate your rival! The more weight you throw around, the higher decibel fights you win, the more concocted stories you sell, you elevate your chances of being a family influencer which later on transmutes your role to be the “decision-maker” in the family in no time. This massages your ego and thus it becomes your winning streak every time to keep weaving asinine stories from figments of self-imagination and hatch serpentine plots against people which empowers you then to contest for the game of power hustle in the family. Most of these merry-go-around experiences in the Indian societies are attributed to the female members of the clan and most root causes for such maladies stem from being envious and unsecured of the member of the same species.
Taming of the shrew
In the realm of patriarchy, the word “Mother-In-Law” is the metronome of Indian values who is responsible for issuing orders, giving advice, and setting the rhythm of acceptable changes in the family. But what happens if the new daughter-in-law comes with a robust belief system, immaculate confidence, and a balanced head to make way for some new changes under the older family polity? The answer is that the new idea meets a lot of restraining forces as it questions the dictum of the old decorum of the house. The tones change from being straight and direct to being indirect and sarcastic. Invisible borders are drawn in the home and each remains within the fences of their room. Lobbies are made and the whole female clan comes to take on the non-conformist bride. A slew of circumstances is created then to break her confidence levels by devaluing her principles and belief systems thus wreaking havoc in her life like a malevolent tornado!
