Understanding Why We Fail And How To Succeed

Dr. Suman Bharali

During our journey of life, sometimes we are at the top of a mountain and at other times at the bottom of a valley. We are exhilarated when we are at the peak. The sun shines on us and everybody recognizes us. But when we hit the rock bottom it becomes gloomy all around. Even our shadow leaves us. Those are the testing times. If we can survive and thrive from there, we become wiser and stronger than before.

People start blaming others for their failures or complaining about the circumstances for their inability to utilize their full potential. Blaming and complaining are an escape from reality. Everybody has to take responsibility for their lives. We need to fix what can be modified by strong willpower, determination, and discipline. We should accept the non-modifiable factors and then adapt and evolve through them.

When we are walking on the edge of a cliff, we need to be careful. We need to take small stems consciously to maintain our balance. If we keep moving on consistently, soon we will reach a secure position from where we can go anywhere, we want.

One of the ways to rise again from a downfall is to find the why. We need to find the reason behind our failures. Then we can work on them and improve ourselves. If we keep repeating the same mistakes we will get the same result every time. To get a different result we have to do things differently. Everything happens according to cause and effect.

One might be failing in an examination, interview for a job, selection in sports, music, art, dance, or any other profession. Someone might have problems in relationships, whether personal or social. Somebody might be lagging financially. Some others might be unhealthy and unhappy. One needs to find the reason behind these and take absolute personal responsibility to overcome them.

For example, if we are unable to clear an examination there might be several reasons behind it. We might not have studied as much as needed or might not have studied the right content according to the syllabus. We might not have revised well what we have studied to retain it in our memory. We might be wasting our time on digital distractions or unnecessary gossiping. We might be procrastinating always and unable to finish tasks in time. We might study very hard but at the time of examination, we might not give our output properly. To stop it we need to find out, why is it important for us to clear the examination. Why do we choose to appear in it? And why are we failing? If we find out the cause and work on it according to plan and schedule we can succeed definitely. For that, we need to have faith, work sincerely and never give up.

When we attend an interview, we should think about why would the board select us among all other candidates. We should see whether we are well prepared to face the interview or not. Have we gathered relevant knowledge about the post we applied for? Have we dressed accordingly? Do we have confidence, etiquette, and proper body language? Whether we communicate clearly and honestly or try to manipulate? Do the board members see the person they are desiring for the post in us? All these things should be kept in mind and we should rehearse thoroughly to excel in it.

In personal relationships also we should ask ourselves, why would the other person like us among all other persons they know? Are we good enough in our own eyes? Do we like ourselves? Do we take care of ourselves? Only if a person loves and respects himself or herself, then he or she can expect love and respect from others. We need to understand the other person well. From where they are coming? What is their perspective? What do they want from life? We should communicate properly. We need to understand what they are trying to tell and then respond accordingly. We need to keep ourselves clean, groom properly and wear neat clothes so that we can go in front of other people without hesitation. When we will feel good about ourselves then we will not feel bad if somebody approaches us. We need to radiate positivity to attract people.

According to the definition of health, it is the complete physical, mental, and social well-being of the individual. So, we need to take care of all these aspects. For keeping ourselves physically healthy, we should have some discipline in our diet, sleep, and daily activities. We should eat consciously. Freshly cooked food and fresh fruits etc. are always healthy. Stale, fried, spicy, and packed food are not good for our bodies. We should minimize the use of sugar, refined flour, and refined oils and use a limited quantity of salt. We should not overeat or eat before previously taken food is digested properly. Our diet should include fruits and vegetables of all colours and all tastes. Our diet should comprise all elements of nutrition in an adequate amount. Proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals, trace elements, dietary fiber, and water should be present in our diet in the appropriate amounts.

An adult should sleep for around 8 hours daily for proper physical and mental health. Many important physiological functions in our body are dependent on sleep. Our bodies get repaired and regenerated during sleep. Also, different hormones and biochemicals are secreted in our circadian cycle. So, we need to have a fixed sleeping and waking time so that our biological clock is not altered. After a good sleep our body gets energized, our sense organs are refreshed and our mind functions with clarity.

We should some exercise daily to keep our bodies flexible and active. When our circulation is increased cells in different organs of the body get an adequate supply of blood. Our blood carries nutrients, oxygen, and fluid to the cells and removes the metabolic by-products from the cells. Therefore, when our circulation is enhanced every cell functions at an optimal level. We should stay connected with nature to refresh our minds and to get a fresh supply of oxygen. When we are stressed, frightened, depressed, or angry our breathing gets shallow. Oxygen supply to the cells of the body is reduced. By doing some rhythmic deep breathing and pranayama we can utilize our lungs to maximum capacity. Breathing can bring emotional equilibrium, provide fresh oxygen and take out toxic gases from the body.

Sitting silently alone for some time every day gives our minds some time to detach from the continuous thoughts and busy schedules. Our awareness is increased and we can focus on what is important to us. Our distractions are removed and creativity dawns in. Therefore, meditation is helpful for our health.

We should make a habit of witting in journals or dairy. This gives us clarity and we can plan our actions. What is scheduled is done. We should make financial planning to check our expenditures. We need to save adequately and try to increase our income for financial stability. We should invest in assets rather than liabilities. When we are financially secure, we can live with fewer worries about sudden illness or accidents in our family.

We should learn to live in harmony with society. We should not create unnecessary conflicts. As during friction, both surfaces are eroded. We should respond to people consciously rather than reacting to them impulsively. We should be compassionate about our fellow beings and help them as much as we can. We all are interdependent. We should not engage in comparison and competition. Life is a journey and not a race. Everyone is fighting their own battles in life. Our purpose in life is to find out our potential and then utilize them to the maximum for the welfare of mankind and to make the world a better place. (The author is an MD in Ayurvedic Medicine)