By: Dr. Suman Bharali
To have a peaceful, harmonious, happy, and healthy life, we must first accept the world as it is. We have to accept ourselves, other people, conditions, and situations in life. If we don’t accept, we resist it or ignore it. By doing so we create conflict with these. Till there is some conflict and friction in our life, we cannot be at peace and prosper fully.
We should understand that numerous events are happening in the universe every moment. They are happening irrespective of our existence. They might not happen the way we want. Also, we are not responsible for every event or can control all of them. Similarly, every person on earth is on a journey in their life. Everyone has been through different times, places, experiences, and influences. People have different perspectives, purposes, and needs. Everybody is going through the process of evolution and trying to survive and prosper. They think, speak, act and behave according to their state of consciousness. Everyone is fighting their own battles in life and experiencing a lot of pain, suffering, and losses. Everyone has their duties, responsibilities, and dreams. So, we should not judge people and resist them rather we should accept them and respond to their actions according to our conscience. If something is wrong, we should give them ample time and help them to understand it and rectify themselves. We cannot make anybody understand and change by force or by giving punishments. But love and acceptance can bring metamorphosis in the life of any people.
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When we see everyone as mortal and try to understand the sufferings of life they are undergoing, it makes us compassionate towards everybody. It makes us able to perceive beyond their words, actions and behaviours. We can see the pure soul inside everybody penetrating all the superficial accumulated layers. Thus, we become unbiased towards everybody and can accept anybody without being judgemental.
There are some modifiable factors and some non-modifiable factors. We should try to change the modifiable factors for good. Resisting and attaching to the non-modifiable factors is useless. Conflicting with them takes away our time, energy, and efforts and causes mental and physical restlessness. So, we should accept them and learn to live in harmony with them. For example, we cannot modify our height or the colour of our skin. But we can control our weight and keep ourselves clean and well-groomed. We can change our lifestyle, take care of our diet, do some exercise regularly and engage our minds in positive thinking. We cannot modify our genetics and are predisposed to many genetic disorders. But through discipline, determination, and hard work we can overcome many genetic weaknesses and become better. We can do many things by practicing what our forefathers could not do. This is known as epigenetics. We should not stagnate at any stage blaming our genetics for our misfortune but should take the challenge and overcome it.
We should accept ourselves as we are. Our lives and our bodies are a gift of God, whatever might be their shape, structure, colour, deformity, or imperfections. We should try to keep it in its best form. We should keep it fit and strong, clean and well-groomed, maintain personal hygiene, wear neat clothes and polished shoes and keep it presentable and attractive. We should keep our minds calm and aware. Speak politely, and honestly, and respond peacefully rather than reacting aggressively. We should act consciously and keep our behaviour and habits in control. We should not forget our manners, ethics, and etiquette. If we keep ourselves properly and presentable, we will not be ashamed of coming in front of people. We will be confident can communicate with anybody without hesitation. When our body language and attitude will be positive, people will approach us to interact and like our company. But if we don’t accept ourselves or love ourselves, then we will be ashamed of ourselves and keep our distance from people. We will hesitate to come in front of others and communicate. Nobody likes the vibrations of a person who doesn’t like himself or herself. Accepting ourselves is most important.
We should know that nobody is perfect. Many genius people have some flaws and imperfections. We all are evolving through life. Many factors and people influence us. So, we should accept our mistakes, failures, flaws, and imperfections. We should learn from them and try to overcome them by practicing and letting go. Everybody should try to bring forward their best form and express their full potential. Staying in guilt, resentment, and grief for past mistakes and losses doesn’t help anybody. It only takes away the precious present moments and happiness. Many people with deformities and disabilities have excelled in different fields and become inspirations for others. We can learn from their biographies and autobiographies. How they accepted themselves, worked hard, overcame different obstacles with determination, and finally succeeded.
We should accept our family and parents as they are. We have not walked the paths they had walked. We have not suffered what they have gone through. We have not made the sacrifices they made. They are also humans with their imperfections. So, rather than complaining about our home environment and blaming others for our misfortune, we should accept them and take personal responsibility for ourselves. In the existing situations and conditions, we should try to bring out our best and do what we can to make it better. We should not keep comparing ourselves with others but try to improve ourselves with time. Many examples are there where children from poor or abusive families have succeeded in living their determination and hard work.
One should understand and accept his or her spouse. Both have grown up in different families with different values. Their perspective on life may vary. Both have gone through different past experienced and learned different things. Their dreams and purpose in life may be different. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Both have their responsibilities and duties. Instead of judging each other, they should accept the little flaws and individual perspectives. They should try to understand each other’s dreams, responsibilities, likes, and dislikes and find out a harmonious common path to move ahead in life together. Opposing and resisting each other, showing flaws in each other, and trying to control or change each other creates more distance between them. Both should accept each other as they are, then find common purposes to act synergistically together and not antagonistically. Only then, there will be growth, peace, harmony, and happiness in the relationship. From healthy and happy parents, healthy children and a good home environment will be created.
We should accept different life events. Life is unpredictable and any unexpected event can happen at the next moment. Things don’t always happen according to our wishes or plan. So, we should keep our perspective broad and be ready to accept any event and move on through it consciously. Often people develop some morbid diseases or meet with accidents that change their course of life. Sometimes dreams are broken and loved ones are lost suddenly. All these hurt the person profoundly and emotional imbalance happens. One can either lose hope and give up or come out of it stronger and wiser. In those dark times, when ones lose direction, one should not stop but should keep taking small steps forward with faith. Gradually they will become stable and find meaning and purpose in life. Till one is alive, he or she has to keep doing own duties, fulfill responsibilities and keep moving forward. We should never quit on our dreams and keep working on them, accepting whatever the conditions and situations we face. We should remember tough seas make skilled sailors. (The author is a Ph.D. Research Scholar in Ayurvedic Medicine & can be reached at bharali.suman@rediffmail.com)
